Flawed and Fearless

I am realizing that perhaps one of the best things my father gave to me, the bounty of my inheritance, is the notion that one can be both flawed and fearless.  One can be at once, puissant and prostrate, to walk in the world of destiny and volition.  

This dichotomy that each of us must learn to navigate is something that few seem to be able to master.   Perhaps it is because there  is nothing a search engine could offer in response to such a query.  Noting to find in dusty, archaic card catalogs or encyclopedias.  No this is a lesson that must be "caught".  For to articulate the things that are simply to be "known" proves arduous for any man.  For how can one say what one does not know.

Yet great men, seem to be born with such a compass.  Attuned to this pole as a compass to the north.  They simple go. They do, and some of us are fortunate enough to see, to understand, to be attached to this.  For when the tides of life turn, and the clouds roar, it is these times we find that through a silent, inexplicable feet, out compass to has been tuned-DUE NORTH as maps and guides fail, we find ourselves bearing the straits, navigating the tides, undaunted by winding roads, DUE NORTH.

Flawed and Fearless, assured of the stream.  Reassured by faith.  Confirmed by victory.

Thanks Sugar.

Remembering Where You've Come From

One thing my father would always emphasize was a need to know and remember from whence we have come.  Not just our personal genealogy, but also the struggles and sacrifices of those who have come before us.  ON this, the 50th Anniversary of the Death of Civil Rights Activist, Medgar Evers, I am posting a terse bio provided by Wikipedia.

Medgar Wiley Evers (July 2, 1925 – June 12, 1963) was an African American civil rights activist  from Mississippi involved in efforts to overturn segregation at the University of Mississippi. After returning from overseas military service in World War II and completing his secondary education, he became active in the civil rights movement. He became a field secretary for the NAACP.

Evers was assassinated by Byron De La Beckwith a member of the White Citizens' Council. As a veteran, Evers was buried with full military honors at Arlington National Cemetery. His murder and the resulting trials inspired civil rights protests, as well as numerous works of art, music, and film.

In the early morning of June 12, 1963, just hours after President John F. Kennedy's speech on national television in support of civil rights, Evers pulled into his driveway after returning from a meeting with NAACP lawyers. Emerging from his car and carrying NAACP T-shirts that read "Jim Crow Must Go," Evers was struck in the back with a bullet fired from an Enfield 1917 rifle; it ricocheted into his home. He staggered 9 meters (30 feet) before collapsing. He died at a local hospital 50 minutes later.

Mourned nationally, Evers was buried on June 19 in Arlington National Cemetery, where he received full military honors before a crowd of more than 3,000.

On June 21, 1963, Byron De La Beckwith, a fertilizer salesman and member of the White Citizens' Council (and later of the Ku Klux Klan), was arrested for Evers' murder.

District Attorney and future governor Bill Waller prosecuted De La Beckwith. Juries composed solely of white men twice that yeardeadlocked on De La Beckwith's guilt.

In 1994, 30 years after the two previous trials had failed to reach a verdict, De La Beckwith was brought to trial based on new evidence. Bobby DeLaughter was the prosecutor. During the trial, the body of Evers was exhumed from his grave for autopsy. De La Beckwith was convicted of murder on February 5, 1994, after having lived as a free man for much of the three decades following the killing (he was imprisoned from 1977 to 1980 for conspiring to murder A. I. Botnick). De La Beckwith appealed unsuccessfully, and died at age 80 in prison in January 2001.

Evers's legacy has been kept alive in a variety of ways. Evers was memorialized by leading Mississippi and national authors, both black and white: Eudora Welty, James Baldwin, Margaret Walker and Anne Moody. In 1963, he was awarded the Spingarn Medal from theNAACP. In 1969, Medgar Evers College was established in Brooklyn, New York as part of the City University of New York. Evers's widow, Myrlie Evers co-wrote the book For Us, the Living with William Peters in 1967. In 1983, a movie was made based on the book. Celebrating Evers's life and career, it starred Howard Rollins, Jr. and Irene Cara as Medgar and Myrlie Evers, airing on PBS. The film won the Writers Guild of America award for Best Adapted Drama. On June 28, 1992, the city of Jackson, Mississippi erected a statue in honor of Evers. All of Delta Drive (part of U.S. Highway 49) in Jackson was renamed in Evers' honor. In December 2004, the Jackson City Council changed the name of the city's airport to "Jackson-Medgar Wiley Evers International Airport" (Jackson-Evers International Airport) in honor of him.

His widow Myrlie Evers became a noted activist in her own right later in life, eventually serving as chair of the NAACP. Medgar's brother Charles Evers returned to Jackson in July 1963 and served briefly in his slain brother's place. He remained involved in Mississippi civil rights activities for many years and resides in Jackson.

On the 40-year anniversary of Evers' assassination, hundreds of civil rights veterans, government officials, and students from across the country gathered around his grave site at Arlington National Cemetery to celebrate his life and legacy. Barry Bradford and three students—Sharmistha Dev, Jajah Wu and Debra Siegel, formerly of Adlai E. Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire, Illinois—planned and hosted the commemoration in his honor. Evers was the subject of the students' research project.

In October 2009, Navy Secretary Ray Mabus, a former Mississippi governor, announced that USNS Medgar Evers (T-AKE-13), a Lewis and Clark-class dry cargo ship, would be named in the activist's honor. The ship was christened by Myrlie Evers-Williams on November 12, 2011.

Get 'er Done!

Perhaps the most relevant lesson that has been on my mind since the New Year has been this idea of "Getting THINGS DONE!"  It is funny because I so often have I have said that the true sign that I am getting older is that my parents are starting to make sense.  One the lessons my father taught that I just really bothered me was the idea that we must "GET THINGS DONE"!

What exactly am I alluding to.  Well, recently I had conversation with a friend about 2 different business owners that I know.  Both of these individuals are respected and would probably be considered successful, however, knowing them makes a big difference.

One of them has started businesses and sales them for millions sometimes.  One of them has started many business over time and has done well financially-at least for a season.  But this individual has never been able to sustain a business.  No matter what kind of initial success this individual has, the person has never been able to sustain any type of real growth.

As I explained to my friend, the biggest difference was that the one who creates and sales the businesses- GETS THINGS DONE!  And this is a simple truth.  Most of us can find any amount of excuses to not complete a task, however, the reality is that at some point each person has to make a decision to get things done.  To prioritize and complete things which are necessary to complete.  However, the mentality of some individuals, which causes the person to be undisciplined, which causes the person to be content with mediocrity ultimately leads to unsustainable success.  

There were many mornings when I didn't want to get out of bed or that I wanted to play and not practice or run errands, and my father would yell-'GET UP! TIME TO GET THINGS DONE!" Wow! So annoying yet now so powerful! My friend said to me, well, I wasn't raised that way.  It was then that I realized that mine was a unique experience.

I realize that I am not the only one with such an upbringing but I am grateful that I am one of the ones with the experience.  I can't say that I "bat a thousand" but I am glad that my numbers are good.

Thanks, Daddy

All in- or NOT in at all

     I was considering yesterday on my birthday, something that made me really appreciate my father as I reflected on how he raised me and who he was.   I recalled how Daddy never let us quit.  I remember how I would be playing a game with my brother (who always cheated! lol)  and I would want to quit.  Then my brother would tell on me and daddy would say-"FINISH.  Win or lose.  Finish."  There were times when I played sports with teams and for whatever reason I didn't want to play the rest of the year.  But Daddy would make me-and all of my siblings for that matter, finish.  There was no such thing as quitting in the middle.  Starting something and not seeing it through was not an option in our house.  

    Then to add insult to injury Daddy would press us to do our best, to play our hardest even if we didn't want to keep playing.  He would explain tersely, "if you start, finish.  If you play, you play hard.  If at the end of the season you don't want to play next year, fine.  But don't start and quit in the middle."  

     As I reflect on these principles, I am so grateful.  I admit, I wasn't grateful then, but now it is innately the way I live my life now.  So when I pray and receive direction from the LORD and tests and trials come, and when the winds blow and the rains pour- I honestly flashback to when my father would say, "don't start and quit in the middle."  I remember when  I was young in the LORD and things were ruff and I didn't understand the concept of suffering.  I would be so frustrated and so tired.  But what was ingrained in me would manifest-by the grace of GOD- and I would remember- DON'T QUIT.  When I considered whether or not I should pray or read my WORD or not, often times because  I was frustrated or had the opportunity to do so I wanted to go hang out with friends or do other things. Then I would remember how my Daddy had said to play hard or not at all.  Then I would throw myself more into the Bible and books about the BIBLE.  

I am so grateful for learned perseverance.   Thanking the LORD for my Daddy.

     

Watching Over Me: The Father's Love

     I remember when I used to go walking in the evening.  I felt that being in my twenties qualified me for midnight strolls where ever I pleased.  One evening while I was walking at Memorial Park in Oklahoma City, I received a call from my father.  He asked me where I was.  I simply told him where I was and what  I was doing.  It was around 11pm or so in the evening.  He informed me that he was in town and asked how long I would be.  The next thing I knew, I was looking at a van with 2 men sitting in it, who were looking at me!  As one of the men approached me I was somewhat concerned.  However, as he got closer I realized he was a family friend.  The other man was my father.  He had driven into town, about a 5-6 hour trip to take care of some business.  And though he had worked a full day, at least 12 hours for him, he wasn't going to leave until I finished.  At the time I had planned at least 4 more laps but I could see the fatigue in his face so  I told him I was on the last lap and I would be finished shortly.  I finished and we headed home.

     I have walked many miles since then, and often late in the evening.  And there are times that I can't help but to look up and hope to see his car or van.  Hoping to see his silhouette gazing my way from the distance.  At times I glance at my phone hoping that I have missed his call and there is a message inquiring about my whereabouts.  I know it seems silly. But as I was walking the other day, the LORD reminded me that I am still being watched over.  And just as my father kept an eye on me here in the natural, so my heavenly FATHER watches over me in the  Spirit.  And of course I know that my father is still watching over me as well.  

     I am blessed to have known a father such as this.  Blessed to know that there was no amount of fatigue to assuage his concern.  No amount of work to remove me from his mind. No event more relevant than my whereabouts.  No situation insurmountable when he was involved.  No time like the present to be there for the ones we love.  

Thanks Daddy,

Dare to Dream

Perhaps the greatest lesson my father taught me was to dream and not allow the voice of the naysayers to deter reaching for your dream.  This is perhaps the greatest lesson that I hold most dear.  I remember when we were transitioning from a rural community to the inner city, Daddy took my brother, my mother and me to a really nice, reclusive neighborhood that was not too far away.  As we drove around the neighborhood my father simply stated that: “this is what is possible”.  One of the houses in the neighborhood looked like the house on “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”.  It was not a lesson that he didn’t live by.  Daddy was born in a small house, an African American born in a segregated society, who came from no means.  And yet he despite his circumstance dared to dream and to pursue those dreams.  He dreamed of being the best athlete in his home state, and one of the best in the country in his time- he accomplished this.  He dreamed of going to a prominent university and becoming an All-American- he accomplished this.  He dreamed of playing in the NFL- he accomplished this.  He dreamed of earning a Ph.D.- he accomplished this.  He dreamed of helping youth- he founded a non-profit organization and did this.   Simply he taught me through his life to never let the odds intimidate you.  And never let the nearsightedness of others to keep you from reaching for the stars.

Daddy Came and Got Me!

   I remember one evening in July I was driving in Forest Park in Oklahoma City.  Many who are from the area know that the area is known for stopping any and everyone.  A news report had come out around that time and stated that Forest Park received over 50% of its revenue from traffic tickets! However, on that evening it was necessary for me to drive through the area because I was headed to the home of a friend in the neighborhood.  It was the late evening and we were preparing for a funeral scheduled for the next morning ,as they had lost a loved one. 

     As I made my way through Oklahoma City streets and passed several police cars who did not even look twice at me so I felt reasonably secure as I entered into the Forest Park Township.  As I drove through, down an unlit street, I passed a car I could not see very well.   I was alarmed when the car's lights began to flash and I then realized I was about to be stopped by the police.  As the officer approached me I was relaxed and politely asked him why I had been stopped.  He told me because I had a headlight out!  I was astonished I had know idea I had any technical difficulties at all.  I had been driving with my bright lights on since I was in a dark area.  He asked for my licence and I gave it to him.  He returned and told me that my licence had been suspended and "driving with a suspended licence was an arrestable offense, and that unless I could have someone meet me at the police station within an hour with the funds sufficient for my fines etc. I would be booked at the Oklahoma County Jail and held there until at least Monday since it was after all the Fourth of July Holiday weekend and the offices would be closed the next few days."

     My first thought was WOW!!!! I have never been in trouble with the law in my life! And now I am going to the County for a headlight?  I began to pray as the officer walked away.  I called some people in town who said "call if you ever need anything". (You know the ones).  They didn't bother to pick up the phone.  All of the relatives I had in town were out of town on vacation and the rest of my family lived in other states.  It was between 11pm and midnight on a Wednesday night and I didn't know what to do.  I prayed and told the LORD, "well maybe there is someone in the County you want me to witness to, and I will have to get my 'Paul and Silas' on, but I don't want to go to jail and it doesn't make sense me missing the funeral."  After I prayed that prayer my phone rang.  As spoke quickly as I could see the officer coming back after having called the tow company.  It was my "surrogate" family calling.  To make a long story short they said they would come and get me.  I told them my father would repay them the money ASAP it was just he was out of town. 

     I then found myself in a place I had never been-the back of a police car! They were taking me in.  My car was being towed and we were driving off.  I was allowed to call my father and he assured me he would send the money ASAP and thanked the people who were picking me up.  That evening I called some people who never answered their phone.  I needed to pick my car up.  But to no avail, my poor little red car had to spend the weekend in lockup- but thankfully I didn't.

     By the time Monday came my plan was clear.  One of my friends came and took me to DPS.  I found that the reason my licence had been suspended unbeknown  to me was because a ticket I had received 7 months before! I had PAID the ticket!  By the grace of GOD the man took me aside and said not to worry, it would not appear on my record. (thank YOU JESUS).  My father had already sent the money to take care of all necessary expenses.  He had to work a long shift and though he hadn't gotten off work until the wee hours of the morning, he came straight from Kansas to Oklahoma (about 5 1/2 hour trip one way) to get my car out of impound and while he was in Oklahoma City he made arrangements so that if it ever happened again I would know who to call, even without money, and things would be taken care of.  He then got back on the road drove another 5 1/2 hours to go back to work. (PRAISE BREAK).

     I remember testifying that "a lot of people talked but my DADDY came and got me!"  I was so grateful then and I am now.  Because in a time when so many don't know their fathers and even if they know who he is they can't call on him or don't know where he is.  But I am so grateful for a father that would drive all night to see about his baby girl! And I can say that my father did no less for any of his other 8 children.  He never lectured me about not checking on my licence.  Never chided me for spending so much time with people who wouldn't help me in my hour of need.  He just came down and took care of me, and made provisions on my behalf.   He just came and got me.

 So loyal. So faithful. So sweet.  So SUGAR.

I love you daddy,

Marcella